16.44

16.44

That's the mileage that haunts has haunted me.  That's the point I dropped out of the 2015 WDW Marathon.  That 16.44 has stood as my longest run ever....   Until this weekend.

On Saturday, I went out for my long run.  The miles ticked by and soon  (and by "soon" I mean:  a very long time),  I texted my husband that I was at mile 15.  As I continued my run, I got a little antsy.  I kept checking my watch every few steps.  As my Garmin crept closer and closer to 16.44, I found myself thinking of how different this run was.  I was not in pain.  I felt strong.  I knew, I was going to complete the run I had set out to do.

And, I did.  17 miles.  I have defeated the demon.  I have moved beyond my failure.  While I have not yet crossed the finish line, I have reached a milestone.  When I stopped my Garmin, the "New Record" icon popped up.  I finally have a new "longest run" on record.

It's a much better feeling knowing that my longest run ended on my terms, successfully.  26 days until I own the finish line.

15 (million) Miles

Sunday was a beautiful, unseasonably warm day. Perfect for a run.

Unless you are me.  Then, it was the worst run in a really long time.  Like, since I started running again.

Miserable.  I only had 4 hours sleep, had already worked 4 hours at a physically demanding job, was not well fed or hydrated.  The absolute perfect set up for my first ever 15 miler.  WooHoo!

I started off listening to my favorite podcast and the first 3 miles went fairly well.  After that, it was downhill.  Mentally, I just wasn't in it.  Then, my right calf started to hurt.  I knew my form was off and I started to doubt whether I would (or should) finish this run.

In the end, I did finish.  It wasn't pretty.  It wasn't fun. And, I'm sore.  Very, very sore.  But, I ran 15 miles!  My longest training run ever.   2 long training runs left....

My People

I found my people.

On Thursday night, I went to a pub run that is held jointly with the two running clubs that I belong to.  After the week I've had, I decided to stay for a drink after the run.

Not only are they super nice, but they also run Disney.  What?!?!  Granted, they are much faster than me right now, but...

Disney running friends here in my town???  Oh yeah!!!  Needless to say, I texted my husband and told him that I was going to be later than planned.  It was a wonderful night making new friends and having a lot of laughs.  Just what I needed to relieve the stress of the week.

Thursdays are my new favorite night of the week.

TBT: My First Half Marathon

For Throwback Thursday, I thought I'd share the story of my first half marathon.

I started running in the spring of 2012.  In the back of my mind, I knew I wanted to run the Disney Princess Half Marathon "someday".  But, it was a pipe dream.  Not an imminent activity.

After completing a few 5K's that first spring/summer, some running friends put this crazy bug in my head...  what about a half marathon?  No...  I couldn't run that far already.  Or, could I?

By the end of the summer, I was signed up for 2 half marathons:  Smuttynose Rockfest Half Marathon and the Disney Princess Half Marathon.   Rockfest was at the end of September, the day after my daughters 3rd birthday.  I had trained up to 10 miles.  Training had gone well and I was feeling nervous, but excited about my first half.  I was running this one so that I could feel confident and enjoy the Princess Half.

I met up with a new friend pre-race, but lost her in the chaos just before the start.  I had a friend (who is an amazing runner) that was running the full marathon that day.  My one goal was to finish the half before she finished the full.  Seriously.

I started out and like most newbies made the mistake of going out too fast.  By mile 9, I was ready to be done.  Plus, it was rainy and cold.  Once I started to walk, I got even colder.  By mile 10, by back was killing me.

The course is near the ocean and the last stretch is on the road along the beach.  I kept moving forward, longing to just sit on the curb and wait for someone, anyone, to come pick me up despite being able to see and hear the finish line just down the road.  I was miserable and was convinced that I would never again run a half marathon (ahahahahahahahaha!) 

Around mile 12, a friend who has already finished the half and was on her way back to her car saw me and jumped back on the course to help me.  She could tell I was struggling.  We walked a mile together and she talked the whole time.  I was too cold and exhausted to answer, but she just chatted away.  Finally, she split off and I finished the last .1 on my own.  The woman I had met up with pre-race was waiting for me at the finish line.

I was so happy to be done and felt awful.  I did reach my goal:  My full-marathon friend arrived at the finish line about 10 minutes after I did.  I was too miserable to enjoy the post race festivities, so I jumped in my car and headed home.  I ended up having to pull over on the side of the road to puke, and then sat there crying.  I never wanted to run another half marathon.  I had already spent hundreds of dollars on the registration and tickets for our trip to the Princess Half.  How was I going to go home and tell hubby I changed my mind and didn't want to do it??

I got home, showered, ate and napped while hubby took our kids to a birthday party.  By the time I got up, I looked at that medal and knew I was hooked.  Miserable experience or not, I had finished a half marathon.  There was no turning back.

Lemons

Sometimes life hands you lemons.  Traditional wisdom says, make lemonade.  But, what if you don't like lemonade?  That's why I run.

There is something about running that calms my soul more than any other activity.  It's the soothing rhythm, the physical exertion, the time alone to zone in on only my thoughts and feelings.

This week dealt up a big ol' pile of lemons.  Our oldest daughter was diagnosed with scoliosis and will need to wear a back brace 21 hours a day for the next few years.  We are thankful beyond words that this diagnosis is not life threatening.  We are more fortunate than many families today.  But still, it feels like we've been punched in the stomach.  This is not the life we imagine for her.  This is not the life she deserves.  And, there's nothing I can do.  As a mother, that's the hardest part.  I can only stand by her side and walk with her through this journey.  I can't make this go away. 

So, I run.  I run to clear my head.  I run to have time to just breathe.  I run so she doesn't see me cry.

And, when I'm done running, I put back on my suit of armor and am ready to fight another day with her.